the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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