Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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