susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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