He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
