Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
