honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
