you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize