You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
