the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
