Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize