Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
