maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
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