You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
