I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
