so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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