If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize