I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
