the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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