So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
