I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He shit in the fireplace
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