Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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