Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
