i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
third nipple confirmed
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
