Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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