would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
