I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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