Will you blow on my dice?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He passed out mid-signature
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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