I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
are you so shy because you have an std?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize