You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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