Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I accidentally had phone sex last night
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
