That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
