thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
