brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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