shes about as inviting as chlamydia
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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