i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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