Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize