how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
