I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
