Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
