dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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