i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Randomize
