forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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