Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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