I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize