i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
