I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize