Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize