Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
