how can u be prego again
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
