8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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