last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
