hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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