Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
