K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
