plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
