Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My friends, they love my intelligence
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
