It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
