New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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